Saturday, November 15, 2014

Dementia - They Don't Tell You These Things…'By Dawn Vance'

One of the most honest, raw accounts of dementia is in this exceptional article, published on the Huffington Post site, and written by Dawn Vance.

Titled 'Dementia - They Don't Tell You These Things'… it is searingly honest.

These two pars stopped me in my tracks, made me sit upright and nod my head furiously, and maybe even let out an expletive, along the lines of 'hell, yes!' Dawn writes:

They don't tell you how to deal with the crushing realisation that she's never even going to be able to phone you again

They don't tell you how to channel the anger you feel when you realise that your fellow 30-somethings' lives now revolve around marriage, mortgages and kids and yours revolves around a terminally ill, confused old lady who doesn't even know who you are. They've chosen their responsibilities; you'd give anything not to have yours.

What would I add to this?

They don't tell you how you'll feel when people you know ignore you because THEY'VE decided how they should react your loved one's death - it's like they're saying: 'Well, you were a carer and she seemed hard work, so now you are relieved, right? You certainly appear to be having fun. That means I don't need to call you or make any contact with you. Because you probably need space…' or some shitty version of this tripe.

No, they won't tell you that. They won't tell you these things.

They also won't tell the above mentioned shitty 'friends' these things. But they will find out, in time, just as you did…

Read the rest of this fantastic piece here.

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